Top Ten Most Likely Ways for a New Yorker to Die in a Hurricane

We had so much fun with this, we came up with eleven. I’m a New York City resident and had some fun being creative, exaggerating about the colorful reactions and activities of my brethren here in the Big Apple. What else are you going to do when cooped up indoors for so many hours with just basic television to watch?

Top Ten Most Likely Ways for a New Yorker to Die in a Hurricane

• 11 - Mesmerized by local TV news coverage and dying of starvation after forgetting to eat
• 10 - Drowned at hurricane party… bobbing for apples
• 9 - Bottling and/or drinking East River water for survival
• 8 - Seeking West Coast surfing conditions in East Coast hurricane
• 7 - Opportunely trying to finally score Book of Mormon tickets
• 6 - Ball actually drops at Times Square
• 5 - Residences on Rikers Island overrun by storm surge
• 4 - Struck by projectile while protesting for Gay Divorce
• 3 - Being a Bloomberg groupie suddenly got dangerous
• 2 - Choosing the worst of all possible days to visit Roosevelt Island
• 1 - Trampled to death in aisle 4 seeking slice bread

Top ten list should interest The New York Times (NYSE: NYT), Gannett Co. (NYSE: GCI), A.H. Belo (NYSE: AHC), Daily Journal (NYSE: DJCO), Journal Communications (NYSE: JRN), Lee Enterprises (NYSE: LEE), Media General (NYSE: MEG), E.W. Scripps (NYSE: SSP), McClatchy Co. (NYSE: MNI), The Washington Post (NYSE: WPO), Dex One (Nasdaq: DEXO), Martha Stewart Living (NYSE: MSO), Meredith (NYSE: MDP), Private Media (Nasdaq: PRVT), Reed Elsevier (NYSE: ENL), Reed Elsevier Plc (NYSE: RUK), Dolan Co. (NYSE: DN), Disney (NYSE: DIS), DreamWorks Animation (NYSE: DWA), Cinemark Holdings (NYSE: CNK), Regal Entertainment (NYSE: RGC), RealD (NYSE: RLD), Lions Gate Entertainment (NYSE: LGF), Rentrak (Nasdaq: RENT), Carmike Cinemas (Nasdaq: CKEC), LYFE Communications (OTC: LYFE.OB), New Frontier Media (Nasdaq: NOOF), Public Media Works (OTC: PUBM.OB), Independent Film Development (OTC: IFLM.OB), Point 360 (Nasdaq: PTSX), Seven Arts Pictures (Nasdaq: SAPX), Affinity Medianetworks (OTC: AFFW.OB), Time Warner (NYSE: TWX), News Corp. (Nasdaq: NWSA), Vivendi (Paris: VIV.PA), Liberty Starz Group (Nasdaq: LSTZA), McGraw-Hill (NYSE: MHP), Pearson Plc (NYSE: PSO), John Wiley & Sons (NYSE: JW-A, NYSE: JW-B), Scholastic (Nasdaq: SCHL), Courier (Nasdaq: CRRC), Noah Education (NYSE: NED), Peoples Educational Holdings (Nasdaq: PEDH), Barnes & Noble (NYSE: BKS), Amazon.com (Nasdaq: AMZN), Books-A-Million (Nasdaq: BAMM) and Borders (NYSE: BGP).

Jihad Jane - Top Ten Reasons to Become a Terrorist

Top Ten Reasons to Become a Terrorist

Oh Magoo, err Jihad Jane, you've done it again!

A woman self-nicknamed "Jihad Jane" was arrested in Pennsylvania one March morning in 2010, allegedly plotting to kill a Swedish cartoonist! Word has it that her hit list also included Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Charlie Brown and Bugs Bunny. At least three of those characters would have likely proved too clever for Jihad Jane though.

You know... thank God so many jihadist terrorists are just so silly. More so than the Bush Administration, I think it's sheer ridiculousness that has spared us a significant terrorist attack since 9/11. You gotta hand it to Jihad Jane though; at least she was clever enough in picking her moniker. Still, even that was not original. Apparently "Jihad Jane" is a label regularly given to female terrorists.

In thinking about what might lead a female American citizen like Jihad Jane to turn to terrorism, I have actually come up with a few possibilities that even terrorists will likely chuckle at.

Jihad Jane - Top Ten Reasons to Become a Terrorist

• 10 - 3 letters: PMS


• 9 - Free health care benefits if your suicide bomb pack is a dud


• 8 - Beats being a Bin Laden stand-in


• 7 - Her terrorist escort service went under due to recession


• 6 - No serious subcontinent contender on American Idol since Sanjaya & Anoop Dog


• 5 - Lost bicycle-taxi driver's license


• 4 - Blogging didn't work out


• 3 - They ran out of hummus at the A&P again!


• 2 - Smartass Greek blogger posted a list


• 1 - Lobbying to become Osama's 33rd wife

Note: While risking souring the funny, I must make something clear. As a God fearing man, I of course do not seek to insult God as any man knows him. I also do not advocate the artwork of the cartoonist, or any mockery of God or holy men of any good intended faith, not mine nor anyone else's. This woman in question was misguided, which is clear by the murderous action she planned in response to a cartoon. She was planning not noble deeds, but criminal and immoral actions that are clearly not aligned with God's wishes.

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Please see our disclosures at the Wall Street Greek website and author bio pages found there. This article and website in no way offers or represents financial or investment advice. Information is provided for entertainment purposes only.

Top Ten Signs You Are Getting Fired

In today's tough labor market, the few of us with jobs are constantly looking over our shoulders. It's important to catch rumors and notice the warning signs that might signal a trip to the firing line. There are important things to look for, and we've listed the top ten signs you are getting fired for you here. Pay attention now!

(Article interests: NYSE: RHI, NYSE: MAN, NYSE: KFY, NYSE: MWW, NYSE: XLF, NYSE: BAC, NYSE: AIG, NYSE: FRE, NYSE: FNM, NYSE: GS, NYSE: MS, NYSE: C, NYSE: GM)

Top Ten Signs You Are Getting Fired:

10 - When you accept Congress' request to take a position in the Treasury Department or a recently government bailed out firm, where your responsibilities will include the noble task of cleaning up someone else's mess...

9 - A month after honestly responding to an "anonymous review," your boss introduces you to his new "best friend" - who happens to be an IT techie dude you never saw him with before...

8 - When you notice emails you've never read have already been opened. Then later that same week you catch your girlfriend having dinner with your boss... OR the techie!

7 - When your supervisor, who usually comes in at 10:00 AM, suddenly turns tardy and starts beating you in. As you settle into your chair just a little late as usual, you can't help but notice him smugly typing an email entitled "Our evil trap is working."

6 - When colleagues notice your monitor is cracked and your hand is bleeding; and when they ask you if you are okay, they don't seem to believe your response about the "electrical surge."

5 - When your lunch buddies are suddenly too busy to eat with you due to what they term "pariah-itis"...

4 - When you catch the unmistakable whiff of urine around your cubicle...

3 - When the government purchases a majority stake in the bank where you are the CEO.

2 - As you boot up your computer, new software uploads and a smiley face appears on your screen and softly says, "Don't panic. This is a routine software upgrade. Why don't you go have a cup of coffee now? You deserve a break."

1 - When passing you in the restroom, your boss kindly says "hello dear friend," and then under his breath adds smartly, "I'm gonna fire you pal!"

SEE ALL OUR TOP TEN LISTS


Visit the front pages of Wall Street Greek to see our current coverage of economic reports and financial markets. Please see our disclosures at the Wall Street Greek website and author bio pages found there. Article interests: NYSE: RHI, NYSE: MAN, NYSE: KFY, NYSE: MWW, NYSE: XLF, NYSE: BAC, NYSE: AIG, NYSE: FRE, NYSE: FNM, NYSE: GS, NYSE: MS, NYSE: C, NYSE: GM.

Top Ten Signs You're Suffering From Swine Flu Hysteria

Visit the front pages of Wall Street Greek and Market Moving News to see our current coverage of economic reports and financial markets.

Judging by the amount of traffic our beloved blog is receiving to its Swine Flu related work, it seems the world is indeed concerned about the first pandemic since 1968. However, we've given you enough to worry about here, so we thought we might lighten the mood and explore the possibility that we may be overdoing things. Google reports some truly confounding search queries around the topic of this nascent virus, and so I wonder how many of us have passed the point of healthy worry into the halls of hysteria.

Top Ten Signs You're Suffering From Swine Flu Hysteria

• 10 - For "Cinco de Mayo" this year, you're planning a trip to Kamchatka


• 9 - You wake up in a cold sweat every evening screaming, "Remember the Alamo!"


• 8 - You asked a liquor store clerk if the worm in your tequila has been properly screened
  


• 7 - You greet your pizza delivery boy with Lysol and a wind turbine


• 6 - Suddenly "Kosher" sounds tasty


• 5 - You insist to your local diner proprietor that BLT stands for biscuit, lettuce and tomato


• 4 - Your new bedtime rendition of "The Three Little Pigs" gives your kids insomnia


• 3 - Your boss calls you in for your inappropriate visits to the CDC website and your cubicle shrine to Matt Drudge


• 2 - You find yourself fantasizing about Janet Napolitano
  


• 1 - You conclude every conversation with the words "Ebde bde bde That's all folks!"

Please see our disclosures at the Wall Street Greek website and author bio pages found there. (Article interests: NYSE: NVS, Nasdaq: MATK, Nasdaq: GILD, Nasdaq: BCRX, Nasdaq: CELG, Nasdaq: BIIB, Nasdaq: DNDN, DIA, SPY, QQQQ, NYX, DOG, SDS, QLD, XLF, IWM, TWM, IWD, SDK).

Top Ten Signs Your Broker is Losing It

Visit the front pages of Wall Street Greek and Market Moving News to see our current coverage of economic reports and financial markets.



If you cannot see this hilarious video from David Letterman and The Late Show, please click through the image below to see it at our site.


(Article interests: AMEX: DIA, AMEX: SPY, Nasdaq: QQQQ, NYSE: NYX, AMEX: DOG, AMEX: SDS, AMEX: QLD, AMEX: XLF, AMEX: IWM, AMEX: TWM, AMEX: IWD, AMEX: SDK). Please see our disclosures at the Wall Street Greek website and author bio pages found there.

10 Signs Your Boss is Running a Ponzi Scheme

Visit the front pages of Wall Street Greek and Market Moving News to see our current coverage of economic reports and financial markets.

In today's environment, everyone is concerned about the security of their job... and the legitimacy of their boss. Given the actions, indictments and investigations of Bernie Madoff, Arthur Nadel, Nicholas Cosmo and others, we have to wonder, how rare is honesty on Wall Street? So, given these concerns, you need to know if your boss is running a Ponzi Scheme. Here's a list of some of the red flags you should look for.

(Article interests: AMEX: DIA, AMEX: SPY, Nasdaq: QQQQ, NYSE: NYX, AMEX: DOG, AMEX: SDS, AMEX: QLD, AMEX: XLF, AMEX: IWM, AMEX: TWM, AMEX: IWD, AMEX: SDK, NYSE: QLD, NYSE: SDS)


Ten Signs Your Boss is Running a Ponzi Scheme:


10 - When your boss' office confidante commits suicide, no matter what your boss says...

9 - When your boss comes back from lunch stoned...

8 - When your firm's Legal Counsel asks you if you want to buy a classified file...

7 - When your boss' telephone calls are mysteriously all forwarding to you...

6 - When salesmen start returning your inquiries concerning life insurance...

5 - When you see your boss signing corporate checks off to the hot dog vendor...

4 - When you notice your boss putting five differently colored passports into his briefcase...

3 - When you find your boss sleeping under your desk in the morning...

2 - When your boss opens a new "informal" office in a bathroom stall, and asks you to call him if you see a group of dark-suited men enter the building...

1 - When your boss is Bernie Madoff...


Please see our disclosures at the Wall Street Greek website and author bio pages found there.