Top Ten Signs You Are Getting Fired

In today's tough labor market, the few of us with jobs are constantly looking over our shoulders. It's important to catch rumors and notice the warning signs that might signal a trip to the firing line. There are important things to look for, and we've listed the top ten signs you are getting fired for you here. Pay attention now!

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Top Ten Signs You Are Getting Fired:

10 - When you accept Congress' request to take a position in the Treasury Department or a recently government bailed out firm, where your responsibilities will include the noble task of cleaning up someone else's mess...

9 - A month after honestly responding to an "anonymous review," your boss introduces you to his new "best friend" - who happens to be an IT techie dude you never saw him with before...

8 - When you notice emails you've never read have already been opened. Then later that same week you catch your girlfriend having dinner with your boss... OR the techie!

7 - When your supervisor, who usually comes in at 10:00 AM, suddenly turns tardy and starts beating you in. As you settle into your chair just a little late as usual, you can't help but notice him smugly typing an email entitled "Our evil trap is working."

6 - When colleagues notice your monitor is cracked and your hand is bleeding; and when they ask you if you are okay, they don't seem to believe your response about the "electrical surge."

5 - When your lunch buddies are suddenly too busy to eat with you due to what they term "pariah-itis"...

4 - When you catch the unmistakable whiff of urine around your cubicle...

3 - When the government purchases a majority stake in the bank where you are the CEO.

2 - As you boot up your computer, new software uploads and a smiley face appears on your screen and softly says, "Don't panic. This is a routine software upgrade. Why don't you go have a cup of coffee now? You deserve a break."

1 - When passing you in the restroom, your boss kindly says "hello dear friend," and then under his breath adds smartly, "I'm gonna fire you pal!"

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