Top Ten Most Likely Ways for a New Yorker to Die in a Hurricane

We had so much fun with this, we came up with eleven. I’m a New York City resident and had some fun being creative, exaggerating about the colorful reactions and activities of my brethren here in the Big Apple. What else are you going to do when cooped up indoors for so many hours with just basic television to watch?

Top Ten Most Likely Ways for a New Yorker to Die in a Hurricane

• 11 - Mesmerized by local TV news coverage and dying of starvation after forgetting to eat
• 10 - Drowned at hurricane party… bobbing for apples
• 9 - Bottling and/or drinking East River water for survival
• 8 - Seeking West Coast surfing conditions in East Coast hurricane
• 7 - Opportunely trying to finally score Book of Mormon tickets
• 6 - Ball actually drops at Times Square
• 5 - Residences on Rikers Island overrun by storm surge
• 4 - Struck by projectile while protesting for Gay Divorce
• 3 - Being a Bloomberg groupie suddenly got dangerous
• 2 - Choosing the worst of all possible days to visit Roosevelt Island
• 1 - Trampled to death in aisle 4 seeking slice bread

Top ten list should interest The New York Times (NYSE: NYT), Gannett Co. (NYSE: GCI), A.H. Belo (NYSE: AHC), Daily Journal (NYSE: DJCO), Journal Communications (NYSE: JRN), Lee Enterprises (NYSE: LEE), Media General (NYSE: MEG), E.W. Scripps (NYSE: SSP), McClatchy Co. (NYSE: MNI), The Washington Post (NYSE: WPO), Dex One (Nasdaq: DEXO), Martha Stewart Living (NYSE: MSO), Meredith (NYSE: MDP), Private Media (Nasdaq: PRVT), Reed Elsevier (NYSE: ENL), Reed Elsevier Plc (NYSE: RUK), Dolan Co. (NYSE: DN), Disney (NYSE: DIS), DreamWorks Animation (NYSE: DWA), Cinemark Holdings (NYSE: CNK), Regal Entertainment (NYSE: RGC), RealD (NYSE: RLD), Lions Gate Entertainment (NYSE: LGF), Rentrak (Nasdaq: RENT), Carmike Cinemas (Nasdaq: CKEC), LYFE Communications (OTC: LYFE.OB), New Frontier Media (Nasdaq: NOOF), Public Media Works (OTC: PUBM.OB), Independent Film Development (OTC: IFLM.OB), Point 360 (Nasdaq: PTSX), Seven Arts Pictures (Nasdaq: SAPX), Affinity Medianetworks (OTC: AFFW.OB), Time Warner (NYSE: TWX), News Corp. (Nasdaq: NWSA), Vivendi (Paris: VIV.PA), Liberty Starz Group (Nasdaq: LSTZA), McGraw-Hill (NYSE: MHP), Pearson Plc (NYSE: PSO), John Wiley & Sons (NYSE: JW-A, NYSE: JW-B), Scholastic (Nasdaq: SCHL), Courier (Nasdaq: CRRC), Noah Education (NYSE: NED), Peoples Educational Holdings (Nasdaq: PEDH), Barnes & Noble (NYSE: BKS), Amazon.com (Nasdaq: AMZN), Books-A-Million (Nasdaq: BAMM) and Borders (NYSE: BGP).