Jihad Jane - Top Ten Reasons to Become a Terrorist

Top Ten Reasons to Become a Terrorist

Oh Magoo, err Jihad Jane, you've done it again!

A woman self-nicknamed "Jihad Jane" was arrested in Pennsylvania one March morning in 2010, allegedly plotting to kill a Swedish cartoonist! Word has it that her hit list also included Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Charlie Brown and Bugs Bunny. At least three of those characters would have likely proved too clever for Jihad Jane though.

You know... thank God so many jihadist terrorists are just so silly. More so than the Bush Administration, I think it's sheer ridiculousness that has spared us a significant terrorist attack since 9/11. You gotta hand it to Jihad Jane though; at least she was clever enough in picking her moniker. Still, even that was not original. Apparently "Jihad Jane" is a label regularly given to female terrorists.

In thinking about what might lead a female American citizen like Jihad Jane to turn to terrorism, I have actually come up with a few possibilities that even terrorists will likely chuckle at.

Jihad Jane - Top Ten Reasons to Become a Terrorist

• 10 - 3 letters: PMS


• 9 - Free health care benefits if your suicide bomb pack is a dud


• 8 - Beats being a Bin Laden stand-in


• 7 - Her terrorist escort service went under due to recession


• 6 - No serious subcontinent contender on American Idol since Sanjaya & Anoop Dog


• 5 - Lost bicycle-taxi driver's license


• 4 - Blogging didn't work out


• 3 - They ran out of hummus at the A&P again!


• 2 - Smartass Greek blogger posted a list


• 1 - Lobbying to become Osama's 33rd wife

Note: While risking souring the funny, I must make something clear. As a God fearing man, I of course do not seek to insult God as any man knows him. I also do not advocate the artwork of the cartoonist, or any mockery of God or holy men of any good intended faith, not mine nor anyone else's. This woman in question was misguided, which is clear by the murderous action she planned in response to a cartoon. She was planning not noble deeds, but criminal and immoral actions that are clearly not aligned with God's wishes.

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