House Votes Down Libya War, then Slips Obama a Twenty to Buy a Gun

I woke up Friday morning to the sound of the television playing lightly. I had fallen asleep watching Hillary Clinton testify about the highly disputed withdrawal from Afghanistan, just announced this week by President Obama. Thus, C-SPAN was probably the cause of my rough night’s sleep, full of nonsensical complaints from Democrats, Republicans and anarchists on the Independent line at 3 AM.

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House Votes Down Libya War, then Slips Obama a Twenty to Buy a Gun

I woke up to a preacher opening the House of Representatives with a prayer. That strange sight was followed by a clearly novice Congressmen reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in what seemed like a rite of passage. The politicians littering the sparsely populated hall faced the flag behind the Speaker of the House, who turned his back to me to do the same. I think it was the first time I’ve heard the pledge recited since elementary school. Thus, I had to pinch myself, because it was like some strange nightmare reminiscent of past fantastic scares caused by watching Craig Ferguson and drinking Jamaican Rum.

I woke up from the dream before I died, I suppose ahead of murder by an angry Representative. Dennis Kucinich lambasted his Democratic brother, the president, for his unconstitutional war on Libya. The Ohio little-man’s advocate surely risked a heart-attack, raising his blood pressure to its maximum so early in the morn. I remembered how he once flew in Air Force One to the Midwest, when the president needed him to back off his righteous rant for an important vote. I thought, well at least I can be sure he wasn’t brainwashed or microchipped or replaced by an alien on that day, because he was adamantly in opposition to President Obama on this day. Why he was mad was not so clear. It could have been because he couldn’t keep up his streak of running for president this coming election year, with the incumbent Obama blocking the way. Or, it could have been the same reason Congressman Pall mentioned, which was the president’s oversight of the constitution when determining to rain down rockets on Muammar Gaddafi.

You can’t blame Obama for not coming to Congress for approval, despite the fact that the declaration of war is still within the realm of the people’s house. I mean, if I were President, I would also follow the lead of Ronald Reagan and every president since when determining I needed to knock some sense into a despot. They would have to pull that whip from me kicking and screaming.

On this day, the House was voting to authorize conflict with Libya about 100 days after the start of the latest fabulously named war game - Operation Odyssey Dawn. Cool right? It’s like the Desert Storm nonsense the Pentagon designed to drum up recruits. I suppose they have PR people devising them, and like a trailer for a film it draws your support. The name of these operations also tricks twittering teens without college admission tickets into enlisting into the marines. Odyssey Dawn has a different ring to it than “I’m going to risk my life for a bunch of ragtag Libyan tribesmen.”

I wonder if the Libyan issue is not at the core of this week’s torrential trading, yet while still hidden behind the popular press’ vision. You see, Libya produces high-quality oil, the kind refined into the all important gasoline at the heart of the latest consumer concern and manufacturing mayhem. It’s no coincidence that oil spiked and fired gasoline to $4 once conflict erupted in Libya, not to mention the mess in Bahrain.

As time has passed, it’s become clear that no Libyan, not Gaddafi nor angry toothless peasant fighter-man, has interest in disrupting the nation’s sacred cash cow. And with the lip service of the Saudi’s following OPEC’s greedy grimace, we now have the IEA releasing 2 million barrels a day (over 30 days) from its emergency reserves. The U.S. is also contributing to this supply from its strategic oil reserve. You see, while it took a while, the highly touted economic Brainrust hired by the Obama Administration, finally figured out that gasoline matters to the economy and that Libya matters to gasoline. It’s sort of like a 2+2 math equation, so the Ivy Leaguers up there missed it. They were understandably spending their time with algorithms designed to determine how far the downfall would be if the debt ceiling were allowed to collapse. All in good time, or rather, all in short time… I suppose that catastrophe will cue the third horn blowing angel. I fell asleep before intermission, so forgive me if we are up to the fourth siren already.

Anyway, the House of Representatives took up two important bills Friday involving the hostilities in Libya, though the Obama Administration says they are more like a slap-fight than “hostilities,” which would have required them to cease unauthorized operations already by law. The first legislation, taken up while Kucinich was still boiling, was the authorization for the President to wage a watchamacallit - but not a war - against Libya. The House, with a ragtag group of Democrats and Republicans, voted that down. Yet, with the President’s argument that what he’s having in Libya is just a little harmless argument between friends, only employing missile firing Predator aircraft like sharp biting words, he could continue.

The second bill could have stopped him though, as it covered the appropriation of funding toward the conflict. However, those same so-called righteous representatives voted that bill down, thereby slapping the President’s hand and enjoying the solid short-takes they’ll use in their campaigning next year. Jolly good service my dear proxies.

In any event, Libya matters. Since we started on this path, we must now get the semi-catatonic Gaddafi out of office in order to secure safe passage of Libya’s special oil. We’ll design a top of the line constitution for the toothless tribesmen who take over to corruptly run their government, and everything will get back to normal. It seems the Europeans also understand the importance of winning the war in Libya, and are in it with conviction. Thus, it should be a short time now before we hear the song sung in Tripoli, the King Slug is dead, long live the new CIA implant!

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