White House Goes Black

The White House went black today, but it's not what you think... A blackout in Washington DC put the White House on emergency power, driving home the energy shortage to those who need to get the point most, the President and Congress.

Every once in a while something happens and you think to yourself, there really is a God. When you stop by your local gas station to fill up the piece of junk you had to trade your SUV in for, and you realize you don't have enough money to treat your kids to a now twice as expensive pizza as a result, it bothers you doesn't it? Well never you mind, there's a guardian up in heaven who cares about you, and he's got a sense of humor too.

You had to sit back and smile when you heard the White House went dark today due to power generation substation failure in DC. Some 11,000 homes went dark, including our nation's number one residency. The White House went to back up power, and government staff had to put off their weekend planning for the Nantucket trip to figure out how to get out of the elevator. Perhaps within that dark space and frightening moment, they also had time to contemplate the reality of our intensifying energy crisis. Last I checked government security was still using those huge specially outfitted SUVs, while the rest of you squeeze into milk cartons with wheels.

Yeah, maybe the President got to thinking that his family's oil ventures might not be as important as finding his way down the steps. Maybe God sent the message home today, that energy independence is more than a tool for political progression, but a necessary reality we need to put the pedal to the metal to TODAY!

Hey now, we can't criticize the prez too much, since he did push that wonderful idea called ethanol. Besides hiking the maintenance costs of my little old runabout (fishing boat) I can no longer afford to put into the water, we've managed to send prices for our basic needs skyrocketing as well.

I hope Dick Cheney was not cleaning his shotgun when the lights went out. Thank God he was clearly nowhere near "the button" too, since he could have had a viable excuse for nuking Iran. I could see the press conference now, "I'm old... it was dark... I have a weak heart... I got scared and fell into the button.. sorry..." Let me be clear, I'm all for bombing Iran if all else fails, but it's also my greatest concern...

Maybe Condoleezza Rice understood the importance of dialogue with Iran when she ran her mascara down the side of her face this morning. You know, John McCain is right, we don't want to give credence or any recognition to a maniacal leader in Iran, but what's wrong with a secret meeting or two. We're not recommending deals with the devil, just playing a wise chess match, and keeping mindful of the safety of our queen, while also protecting the king. We promised you an Iran piece this week, but we expect you'll see it a bit delayed. Hopefully, the country won't blow up in the interim.

In conclusion, we suggest to the White House, consider leasing a little space for a windmill on the front lawn, and think about a few solar panels for the roof. These tight energy circumstances do not look to ease while we're confronting a nuclear hopeful who has hundreds of missiles already aimed at his neighbors in Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and parts of Iraq. Have you considered that America? Have you considered what happens to oil prices when Iranian missiles strike Saudi facilities? Buy your candles today, before wax prices join other goods in record price territory.

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